During early voting, I spent a number of afternoons as a volunteer poll observer, a democrat working to be sure that every eligible voter was able to cast a ballot. One afternoon, I was joined by a republican observer. We had pleasant conversation while noticing that many voters were arriving with mail-in ballots.
From there, our conversation turned to the common problems we have had with mail delivery over the past several years, much due to a shortage of mail carriers. I wondered aloud why more immigrants were not applying, as mail carriers are reasonably well compensated and receive good benefits. My observing counterpart responded curtly, “They don’t want to work because then they have to pay taxes. Instead, they just take handouts from the government.”
I didn’t have time for an argument, so I simply responded, “I think that’s not true.” Then I quickly turned my attention to a voter who was having trouble getting her ballot. The rest of the day I wondered how that conversation might have gone, had I been able to challenge her premise.
First, I acknowledged to myself that this person gets her information from a narrow, quite probably singular, source. Then, I mined my internal database for facts that countered her perception. Then, I imagined myself presenting her with that information in a somewhat deferential matter. assenting that there may be a few for whom her assumption is true. And then, inviting her to partner to engage in further conversation about the issue beneath the problem, and together seek a solution.
You can have these conversations without mentioning the name of a single politician. It is tempting and way too easy to blame the system, or allow our visceral feelings about a particular politician to collapse our vision, but that will not move us forward to building a community of compassion and respect. All I want is for us to work a little harder to find common ground, to work together towards just solutions to some of our most difficult problems.
Author: The Rev. Dr. Jan Rivero is a retired United Methodist clergy woman who has served churches and campus ministries in North Carolina and Virginia. Since retiring she has been involved in activities aimed at protecting our democracy, as well as writing her memoir and three children’s picture books.